Dr Heinz Strabismus, Professor Emeritus of Clinical Pathology at the University of Arnis, Schleswig-Fleisburg, commented yesterday in the Arnis Meinung Idioten on the view expressed by Mr Donald Trump that if the French all carried guns the trauma of the recent terrorist attack would have been averted.
‘It is unzweifelhafte Tatsache that has been spoken by the good Trump. In the face of the present situation all citizens of every country must be issued with complimentary guns by their Governments. As President and CEO of the Kalishnikov Society of Arnis I find it unquestioneably the fact of which the good Candidate speaks.
ʽHowever it is clear that this is not an ausreichend respond, and I would further commend the idea expressed by my friend and colleague the Herr Professor of Armaments Dr Leonhart Füffenbecken, which is that international governments should commission the provision of small individual bombs to be given to each citizen. The design of such terror preventative implements has much improved lately, and they could be made available in different colours, for the schöne Damen, and of suffcient smallness to be carried conveniently in the handbag or the gentleman’s Aktentasche. Each would be capable of completely destroying everything in the immediate vicinity of its bearer, and it is clear that any terrorist contemplating ein unangenehmer ation would be thus instantly deterred, in realisation that his destruction – before he had time himself to detonate a personal device – would result in the removal of all hopes of his being attended after his demise by the promised 47 köstliche und erotische weibliche Mädchen.ʼ
Dr Strabismus has stated a Waffen für Alle – ʼWeapons for All‘ fund to which anyone may contribute by sending cheques (made out to Träger, or ʽBearerʼ) and sent c/o the Meinung Idioten, 101 Idiotisch-strasse, Arnis.