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Thursday, June 2, 2016

STRABISMUS COMES OUT FOR TRUMP!

Dr Heinz Strabismus, Professor Emeritus of Clinical Pathology at the University of Arnis, Schleswig-Fleisburg, pictured below, sends a message of encouragement to Donald Trump, offering eindeutig [unequivocal] support to this great American in the final stages of his triumphant assault on the White House. In his regular column in English in the Hysterische Wähler Chronik of June 3, Herr Dr Strabismus writes:
‘Greetings from all members of the Donald Trump Stützer Verband of the University of Arnis to the voters of America! Unite in support of this wunderbar patriot and leading intellectual of your great country. I am proud to be an associate professor and Doctor of Philosophy of the great Trump University, and in the face of the ignorant criticism of political enemies must proudly report that, unlike the universities of Oxford, Cambridge and Harvard, the Trump University immediately accepted me as Doktor der Philosophie and außerordentlicher Professor without any question of an impertinent demand for private information about my qualifications. The dispatch of a cheque for twenty thousand Euros, made out to Bearer, immediately resulted in my being named as a member of the University.
‘I appeal to all my readers to support Herr Dr Trump to the best of their financial ability. Money, in any form, may be sent to me in care of the University of Arnis, and you are asked to mark the envelope directing these funds to the project you most admire:
1.      The Trump Mexican Wall Project
2.      The Trump University Profits Fund
3.      The Trump Income Tax Defence Fund
4.      The Trump Hairpiece Maintenance Fund

Posters bearing the message TRUMP AGAINST THE WORLD may be obtained from Dr Strabismus in various languages: viz., TRUMP GEGEN DIE WELT, TRUMP CONTRE LE MONDE, TRIUNFO CONTRA EL MUNDO, &c.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

STRABISMUS PLEDGES SUPPORT TO DUTTON





Dr Heinz Strabismus, Professor Emeritus of Clinical Pathology at the University of Arnis, Schleswig-Fleisburg, has offered his services as adviser to the Rt Hon Peter Dutton during the course of the upcoming election. In his regular English-language column in the Schleswig-Flensburg Blatt zum Schutz der wahren Bürger (Journal for the Protection of True Citizens) of May 20 he writes:
‘The Ehrenwerten Herr Doctor Dutton presents an exact argument for the defence of the true citizens of Australia. However I am advising him to take his spektakulär richtigen Ideen to their most effective conclusion, which must be the opening of the borders of Australia for the expulsion of any person who cannot trace his or her ancestry directly to the Ureinwohner von Australien or first inhabitants of the land. It must be that Her Professor Dutton is korrekt in his argument to protect Australian employments, and I advise him to  propose Gesetzgebung [legislation] to deny any kind of paid employment to those who cannot speak at least one of the original tribal languages spoken prior to the säuisch invasion of the country. Any person with the true interests of the country at heart must surely pledge his true devotion to the Herr Doctor and the great Liberale Partei of which he is the so devoted member!’

Blatt zum Schutz der wahren Bürger, May 20, page 45 (€5)